Inner Turmoil

I’ve been trying to lose weight for as long as I can remember.

No, seriously. As far back as age 7, I’ve felt/thought/was told I was overweight and needed to slim down.

I think the fact that I was always uber self-conscious and always thought I was fat affected me negatively in the long run. Food has been a STRUGGLE for me. There is a love/hate relationship I have with the foods I love. I’ve recently started a new cycle of “I’m going to lose with weight finally and become a sexy beast”.

This cycle includes daily workouts, better food choices, counting calories, drinking more water, self-motivation, and…unfortunately, bouts of sadness about my body.

Well, today I let myself down. I ate probably DOUBLE my daily calories, drank a soda, AND didn’t workout this morning.  What is wrong with me!?

I have the best intentions, I can see myself 50lbs lighter, I have goal outfits, dreams of wearing a swimsuit comfortably, feeling good about myself, having confidence in my appearance, and overall feeling good in my own skin. But all those dreams and fairytales won’t come true if I don’t figure something out.

I’ve never failed at anything in my life. Can’t start now.



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