Right now, it’s just after 6am. I’ve been awake for about 2 hours for no reason. Whenever I wake up early, I get to thinking, singing, praying, or reading…sometimes, all of the above.
Today’s train of thought it “learning to live”.
I’ve always been such a “busy” person. Tobi always has something to do. I always have somewhere to be. There is always so much to be done. Tobi’s schedule is always packed. I don’t have time for that.
I realize that because I’ve always focused on not being idle, I haven’t really given myself time or the opportunity to enjoy living. I know I’m young (only 21), but this habit of being “busy” has been going on for at LEAST 8 years.
Let that sink in.
Whether I was dancing or singing at church, just going to church, attending an event for school, planning an event for an organization, meeting with a class group, having weekly meetings for organizations, or just going to class…I haven’t given myself any time to sit back, relax, and “enjoy the show”. I really can’t explain why.
Right now…I’m changing. For the first time in almost a decade, I’m making a conscious decision to set time aside to enjoy myself. I’m trying to learn how to say ‘no’ for my personal sanity. It isn’t easy. I still find myself agreeing to projects, events, appointments, and non-leisure travel because I’m so used to doing so. Learning to live hasn’t been an easy transition so far.
The point is that I’m trying. I read something online once that said the number 1 regret of people dying is that they didn’t take the time to LIVE. I don’t plan on being like those people. I want to enjoy life.
I’m learning to live.