Eat(Cook), Pray, Love. <3

I love to cook.

I really do.

I don’t understand how/why some people, especially women, don’t like to cook or ever feel the need to learn how to.

Here are a few reasons why I love to cook:

1. Cooking makes me feel powerful. As a woman, there is so much that a well-prepared meal can accomplish. For wives and mothers, a good meal can create memories for their children. As a single woman, the ability to cook is sometimes attractive to a potential guy. And, as I’ve referenced in some of my previous relationship/marriage/love posts…I’m okay with being ready to be “found”. Bahaha!

2. The smell of cooking/cooked food makes a house smell like a home. For instance, when I do a crockpot meal while I’m at work…when I get home from my long day there is a comforting, genuinely home-y smell that greets me when I walk in the door. Our sense of smell is arguably the most powerful human sense. The smell of spices in the air is welcoming and triggers, for me, comfort and good memories.

3. Every meal is a creation. It makes me feel like an artist. If you’re like me, you like cooking meals from absolute scratch…similar to an artist with brushes, paints, and canvases. I like the feeling of starting my cooking with a bunch of random things on a counter or a bag of groceries and ending up with a delicious, piping hot(in both temperature and spice), and fulfilling meal. Even if I’m only cooking for me.

4. I like to eat. If you like to eat, or you like food…you should like, or at least KNOW HOW, to cook. Many times I try to recreate dishes that I loved in a restaurant. Sometimes it doesn’t work so well…and other times I nail it. LOL.

That’s why I love cooking. Tell me why you do…or don’t.

Pinterest. Love It.

Pinterest. Love It.

Peace, Love, and Pepper… ❤

-Misfit.

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Wedding Season Has Begun!!

Hey Everybody!

It’s been a month since I last posted and SO much has happened since. There are going to be a few posts over the next couple of days…I have to catch up!

This post will be about my first wedding as an adult, a real invited guest(most of the weddings I’ve attended didn’t include an official invitation), and what I believe was my first non-Nigerian wedding.

A co-worker of mine from Asheboro(my former work location) got married at a cute rustic, country event center. The venue was just breathtaking. The ceremony took place outside, lakeside, at 7pm. The weather was perfect for an outdoor wedding. I told my sisters the next day…it was a perfect pinterest wedding! The guest book was smooth rocks to be written on, there were mason jars everywhere, the colors were gray, yellow, and white, the groomsmen and ring bearers had on suspenders(adorable), there was a photo booth and Lindsey was GORGEOUS!

I truly enjoyed myself at the Kilby-Brown wedding. The pastor/officiant was so personable. He spoke about the lives of Zach and Lindsey, their dedication to keeping their relationship and love based in/on the love of Jesus Christ, and their absolutely cute ‘high school sweethearts’ love story.

I had a great time.

Until next post…

-Misfit.

Photo booth fun!

Photo booth fun!

I Used To Hate Hymns.

I used to hate hymns in church. I used to dread that part of service.

As a person who loves to sing, praise and worship, and enjoy great music…those sad, sorrowful-sounding compositions just deflated my excitement. I’ll even stretch and say that it offended me. Yep, I was offended. How do you get me excited, hype, and happy with some LIVE praise and worship, then just shoot me off my high with a segue into the slowest hymn in history?!

I now realize that my previous dislike of these songs was just a preference for upbeat music. I never really paid attention to the lyrics and message in the hymns…only what it sounded like to my uninterested ears. Today, I still don’t like how sad some hymns sound, but I appreciate and understand that the words and message in the song is much more important.

Some of my favorites are It Is Well With My Soul(this song got me through an extremely low point in college), Great Is Thy Faithfulness, I Need Thee Every Hour, and Higher Ground. I truly believe that my growth in Christ has brought me to this point. Sometimes I find myself singing these songs randomly in the car, around the house, or even sitting during church.

I serve the same God that inspired the authors and composers of many of these songs so long ago. Isn’t that amazing? God is always relevant, His word doesn’t and will not change, and his love and faithfulness is everlasting.

If you’re anything like I am with slow hymns, next time you hear one, try not to think about how long it’ll be before the song is over. Read and understand the message in the lyrics, tap into the Holy Spirit that was there when it was written, and thank Him because you can. The words are sometimes so simple, yet powerful.

Happy Sunday.

-Misfit.

I’m Happy.

I’m happy.

No need for exclamation points, all caps, or an ellipsis. I’m just happy. I think I know why. I choose to be happy.

It seems so simple, but it’s taken me a while to get here. Now that I’ve arrived at this destination of happy, I realize that I got here by doing a few things daily.

1. I’ve made a conscious effort to smile more. My whole life, people have randomly asked me, “What’s wrong?” or “Are you okay?” because my facial expression makes me appear upset. Whether I was actually upset or just unaware of my expression, those questions are annoying. Also, I’ve read somewhere that smiling triggers something in your brain that improves mood. Essentially, smiling more tricks me into being happy. A new quote I found says “I’ve got nothing to do today but smile.” Paul Simon is the one who said that…and back in the day he seemed pretty happy to me.

2. I’ve stopped wasting time, energy, and brain power on things, situations, and people I can’t control. I almost don’t even want to write and elaborate about how, but I will. If you’re like me, you spend a large part of you spare time just thinking. Thinking is great, but too much of it can lead you to start with the what-ifs, how comes, and whys. After you spend your time thinking of all these questions and frustrated yourself, you might become aggravated because you realize you don’t have the answers. Trust me, it sucks. I’m giving up on that habit.

3. Lastly, but certainly not least, God makes the difference. Being born and raised in church, I’ve always heard scriptures and songs about God and his sovereignty. Now I know it for myself. I’ve chosen to look for and find Him for myself, not just by hearsay. This relationship with God is a journey. I’ll equate my newly recognized peace and happiness as a state line sign you see while on a road trip. You know where you want to be and are on your way to, but seeing “Welcome to North Carolina” helps you keep track of your progress. My peace that passes understanding and joy in the Lord are evidence that I’m on my way. Estimated time of arrival…to be determined.

Choose to be positive. Be happy. Enjoy.

-Misfit.

P.s. Here are some songs that I love. They even sound happy. 🙂

I Haven’t Met You Yet

The title of this post is slightly misleading. Because there is a Michael Buble song of the same title, maybe you assumed this post would be about a romantic relationship, love, or a desire to be loved. I can’t say that your assumption was wrong. In this case, the aforementioned relationship isn’t with a handsome, perfect guy…it’s the relationship I have with myself.

 What/Who/How do I want to be?

 In the last few months, I’ve found myself asking that question frequently. What kind of person do I really want to be? Who do I want to represent everyday when I wake up and go to work? How do I want others to describe me?

 You could say I’ve come to a sort of epiphany. Well, maybe.

 On one hand…I want to be fabulous. I want to be memorable. I want to be epic. I AM EXTROVERT.

On the other…I just want to be successful. I want to have quiet evenings at home. I want to be genuinely happy. I AM INTROVERT.

 My dilemma lies in the debate as to whether those two “people” – my introvert and my extrovert- can co-exist. As I’ve gotten older, I think that I’m getting closer to the truth in that debate. At different times in my life, I’ve let one facet of my personality overshadow the other. I remember that in those times, I wasn’t content functioning at my extremes.

 You may be wondering…what brought on this ‘epiphany’? Well, that’s easy.

 God.

 In order for me to be truly happy, in order for me to reach my highest potential in life and personality, I have to stop thinking about being more of ‘myself”, and focus on being more like Him. John 3:30 states clearly, “He must increase, but I must decrease.”

 Simple, right? Yes and no. It’s a process.

 I’m not quite perfect at always being Christ-like, but I’m trying. I know that the person I’m meant to be is just as fabulous as she wants to be, is successful, is ridiculously epic, and still manages to enjoy quiet evenings at home when she wants to. How do I know that?

 Everyone’s favorite verse. Philippians 4:13. “I can do [be] all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

 To the near-future me. I’m excited to meet you. I know you’ll be great…

 

…I Just Haven’t Met You Yet.

 -Misfit.

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Friends…How Many of Us Have Them?

I should be asleep right now since I have to be up in less than 6 hours, but I wanted to share this post before I decided to go to bed.
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“I don’t want to be your friend anymore.”

Simple, right? Straight to the point. Clear and concise.

What if all friendships that were destined to fail ended as amicably and simply as that? I think there would be a lot less drama in the world. Today, I realized something important. Some would call it an epiphany. I think I just finally admitted something to myself. I’ve decided to stop lying to myself about something that has affected me more in the last few months than ever before.

Here goes nothing. I’m not good at having friends. There, I said it. Actually, I’m quite terrible at it. My entire life, I’ve depended on my siblings (who are awesome) to be my friends, not realizing that my relationships with people outside of my family are just as important.

I’m a graduate of college, I attended schools for about 16 years, and I can’t really say I have many friends or even a core group of friends to show for it. I try not to think about it often, but being myself in my new apartment gives me plenty of time to let my million miles-per-minute-mind wander.

Who do I blame for my broken friendships? Who CAN I blame for them? I’m the only constant in them all.

I blame myself. My insecurity, my issues with self, my trust issues, and the overall lack of faith in people has affected me in ways I didn’t notice until now.

Where do I go from here? Do I attempt to repair current relationships? Reopen old wounds a.k.a. friends that have never completely healed? Or do I continue on with life, armed with this new knowledge about myself and carrying what I know into future friendships and relationships?

I have no idea. Not one. What I do know is that there is a problem, rooted in me, and I need to fix it (or better yet, give it to God to handle).

My big brother tell me that I shouldn’t be worried. His theory is that I’ve been focused on what I’m supposed/expected to do and what I need to do to be successful that I didn’t bother making useless friends. [He would also disapprove of this blog post]

Here’s what I think of that theory. My brother is trying to protect me from myself. He’s trying to make me feel better about my utter lack of unrelated meaningful people. In order for me to fix myself, I must figure out the “whys” about who I’ve become. I don’t blame my siblings, but being the youngest, I think I’ve subconsciously absorbed their experiences, thoughts, and beliefs as my own about life.

Who needs to actually experience teenage rebellion and feelings when you have lived them vicariously 3x over?

Where’s the big tada? I’ve never confronted myself before now about my friendships statuses.

I’m not a kid anymore. Something told me it was time to ask myself a simple question.

Friends…how many of us have them?

-Misfit.

Have You Ever?

Last night, I went to dinner and a movie with my cousin. After the movie, we sat in the car for about an hour talking about life, love, relationships, dreams, goals, etc.

He asked me a question. “Have you ever been in love?”

I couldn’t answer immediately. I had to think about it for a second. I didn’t have a boyfriend at all during my college years, my only real boyfriend was a long-distance thing. I thought I was in love with him, but teenage hormones and emotions can be deceiving. He was a great guy, really caring, and a true sweetheart. I don’t want to sound like I’m boasting, but I do think he loved me.

I’m not sure if I have shied away from relationships, ignored guys, or just not been interested in dating, but…I think I’m ready now.

What’s that 80s love song? “I wanna know what love is…I want you [insert dream bf’s name] to show me.” Yea…something like that.

I believe that love is a beautiful thing, if done right. I’ve seen many stupid, emotionally abusive couples, and I can admit to being jaded about relationships. But I also think that if the right guy came along…we could try.

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“Have you ever been in love?” No, but whenever I do…I’d like to get it right the first time.

-Misfit.