And I Love It.

I’ve written so many blog drafts in the last few months that I’ve decided not to post. I don’t really know why. I guess I was being too personal in those posts and didn’t want to share that much with the world wide web.

I’ve done a whole bunch of soul searching in the last couple months. I’m at a professional crossroads at the moment.

Do I face my fears, take a bigger risk, and invest in myself? Or do I continue on this career track?

Can I do both? Yes. I can. And I will.

I have a chance and an opportunity right now. To create a path for myself. To pursue and achieve greatness. I just have to do it.

I told myself that I’m going to come back to writing on the blueprint. It’s crazy how the name I gave this blog years ago is something that becomes more true each time I log on.

I’m a misfit. I’m different. A peacock among penguins.

And I love it.


PS. I’m back.


Inner Turmoil

I’ve been trying to lose weight for as long as I can remember.

No, seriously. As far back as age 7, I’ve felt/thought/was told I was overweight and needed to slim down.

I think the fact that I was always uber self-conscious and always thought I was fat affected me negatively in the long run. Food has been a STRUGGLE for me. There is a love/hate relationship I have with the foods I love. I’ve recently started a new cycle of “I’m going to lose with weight finally and become a sexy beast”.

This cycle includes daily workouts, better food choices, counting calories, drinking more water, self-motivation, and…unfortunately, bouts of sadness about my body.

Well, today I let myself down. I ate probably DOUBLE my daily calories, drank a soda, AND didn’t workout this morning. ¬†What is wrong with me!?

I have the best intentions, I can see myself 50lbs lighter, I have goal outfits, dreams of wearing a swimsuit comfortably, feeling good about myself, having confidence in my appearance, and overall feeling good in my own skin. But all those dreams and fairytales won’t come true if I don’t figure something out.

I’ve never failed at anything in my life. Can’t start now.